Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Could it be...


Has it finally happened? I'm not really sure, the last time I had this feeling was March of 2003. My first child was overdue and for weeks I just sat around the house...feeling bored? Could it be? Bored? I wasn't sure I would ever experience this feeling again. Honestly for the first time in nearly six years there is nothing I need to do. Oh sure there are always things that could be done-should be done...but nothing pressing. Nothing I have to accomplish today-nothing for tomorrow, nothing for the foreseeable future. I feel empty inside.

Today I read a whole book-an actual grown-up book with no pictures. I should be thrilled to have a break-thrilled to read more than page at a time between interruptions-but instead of joy it feels a bit more like sorrow.

Usually I am manic with responsibility- errands, PTA, homework, projects, chores. Free time has been a rare and coveted commodity in my life for so long-shouldn't this respite from the grind be welcomed relief? Why do I feel so depressed?

I could ruminate on this for hours but I think the best therapy would be a extra large load of laundry and long walk. Reality and exercise - a sure cure for a boring day.

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